‘Behind every number is someone loved’: Widow's plea for better suicide support

A mum-of-three whose husband died by suicide says there is still not enough support for people in crisis or for the families left behind.

Since her husband took his own life in 2023, Lisa Marshall has been raising their children Henry, Matthew and Sofia alone while dealing with her own grief.

Alan, 37, was a well-liked dentist who took pride in his work, loved spending time with family and friends and was a devoted Rangers fan.

Lisa, 34, says there were no warning signs before his death and she has spent the years since navigating life without him.

‘There was nobody else like Alan’

Alan was described as ‘the life and soul’ of the party

Lisa and Alan met on a night out in Glasgow with dentistry colleagues in 2011. They married five years later, going on to have three children together.

“He brought everything to our lives. So much fun, so much laughter, always joking,” she told STV News.

“He worked a lot, was so sociable and had lots of friends.

“He spent hours playing football with the boys.

“There was nobody else like him. The gap he leaves is still present to this day.”

Lisa has returned to work as a dentist, but says balancing a career with parenting has left her little time to process her own grief.

“There’s no time to grieve or stop because you’re so busy looking after the kids,” she said.

“You live your life in survival mode. You worry about more bad things happening.

“It’s hard to face the world when you want to hide, but you have to.

“Life is short and you want to make life happy for your kids.”

Lisa says one of the biggest challenges has been helping her young children cope. Last year, she had to explain the devastating circumstances of Alan’s death to her older sons.

“They had to go through the grief all over again,” she said. “Keeping their routine through football, swimming and dancing has been vital. They’ve never missed a day of school or nursery.”

Alan and Lisa with their three children Henry, Matthew and Sofia

‘You were just kind of left to it’

While child bereavement services helped the children, Lisa struggled to find help for herself, eventually receiving a diagnosis of PTSD and anxiety. Facing long NHS waiting lists, she was forced to pay for private counselling.

“The hardest thing is getting help when you need it,” she said. “There was absolutely no support.

“When the police wrapped up, you’re advised to go and ask your own network.

“There are long waiting lists and sometimes people only get a small amount of support before being sent back into the community.

“You’re just kind of left to it.”

The lives behind the numbers

Lisa says she 'wants to make life happy' for her kids — Lisa says she ‘wants to make life happy’ for her kids Lisa Marshall

Latest figures from National Records of Scotland show there were 703 probable suicide deaths in Scotland in 2025, one fewer than the previous year. Men accounted for 522 deaths compared with 181 among women, meaning males remained around three times more likely to die by suicide than women.

The statistics also showed suicide rates in Scotland’s most deprived communities were 2.7 times higher than in the least deprived areas.

“One fewer death than last year offers little comfort to the families whose lives have been changed forever,” Lisa said. “Behind every number is someone loved, missed and desperately wanted here.

“These figures cannot become something we simply accept.”

Lisa says the figures reflect the wider pressures many families are facing.

“It doesn’t surprise me that poorer areas are worse affected because poverty is getting worse,” she said.

“The cost of living is through the roof. Employment, financial pressure and mental health are all linked.

“A lot of women are caring for kids and can’t make evening support groups. People are working and struggling to get time off.

“People need to be able to access help when they need it.”

Lisa believes stigma continues to prevent many men from seeking help.

“I think men and women have the same amount of suicidal thoughts,” she said.

“But men don’t open up the way women do. They can struggle to talk and often don’t reach out.

“They don’t want the stigma and they don’t want to feel they’re letting their families down.”

‘There were no signs – I’ve had to accept that’

Lisa with Sofia at Disneyland Lisa Marshall

Throughout her own grieving journey, Lisa says not having answers around Alan’s death is something she has had to learn to accept.

“I’ve learned to live with it, cope with it and manage it,” she said. “I used to look at pictures and messages to try and find a sign, but there was nothing.

“I used to think people who were suicidal would go through a really hard time, poverty and trauma, things like that.

“That wasn’t Alan. He had everything.

“It shows this can happen to anybody of any age, background or profession. It doesn’t discriminate.”

In response to the figures, the Scottish Government highlighted their national action plan setting out Scotland’s priorities for suicide prevention over the next three years.

The initiative is backed by at least £3m in funding in 2026-27 and includes measures aimed at tackling health inequalities linked to suicide, including support for people living in poverty.

Mental wellbeing minister Maree Todd said: “Behind every one of these statistics is a person who leaves behind family and friends and a wider community.

“We know that poverty is closely linked to poor mental health and suicide, and these figures show that people in our most deprived communities are still far more likely to die by suicide.

“Whilst the reduction shown in last year’s figures has been sustained, we are not complacent.”

Lisa now uses her lived experience to help shape suicide prevention work through support and advisory groups.

Despite everything her family has endured, she hopes speaking publicly about her experience will encourage others to seek support before it’s too late.

“Give yourself the chance to see how things can get better,” she said.

“The world is not a better place without you, even though you might think it.”

Help and support is available now if you need it. Details of services available can be found at stv.tv/advice

Anyone feeling emotionally distressed or suicidal can call Samaritans for help on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org