Meghan Markle: ‘I just didn’t want to be alive anymore’

Harry and Meghan open up about loneliness, fear and being ignored by family in Oprah interview.

Meghan Markle: ‘I just didn’t want to be alive anymore’ Harpo Productions

The Duchess of Sussex has told of how she felt suicidal during her time living with the Royal Family.

In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, due to be broadcast on STV on Monday at 9pm, Meghan said there were times that she “just didn’t want to be alive anymore”.

The Duchess also told of how a member of Harry’s family raised concerns about “how dark” their son Archie’s skin might be before his birth.

She also spoke of her battle with loneliness and worries that Archie would be vulnerable if he was denied a title – leaving him without protection.

Ms Winfrey asked Meghan if she had been thinking of harming herself, the Duchess responded: “Yes. This was very, very clear.

“And that was a very clear and real and frightening constant thought. And I remember, I remember how he just cradled me and I was… I went to the institution, and I said that I needed to go somewhere to get help.

“I said that I’ve never felt this way before and I need to go somewhere. And I was told that I couldn’t, that it wouldn’t be good for the institution.”

The Duke of Sussex joined his wife in the interview, broadcast in the US overnight on Sunday.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex during their interview with Oprah Winfrey which was broadcast in the US on March 7 (Harpo Productions)

Ms Winfrey asked Harry about a conversation Meghan had described in which Archie’s skin colour was brought up.

He said: “That conversion, I am never going to share. At the time it was awkward, I was a bit shocked.”

Harry also said Prince Charles “stopped taking my calls” during the build-up to the couple’s departure from the family.

Asked if they had “blindsided” the Queen with their announcement they were leaving, Harry said: “No, I would never blindside my grandmother, I have too much respect for her.”

Meghan and Harry with William, Kate and the Queen (Getty Images)Royal Family

He told Ms Winfrey he had three conversation with his grandmother and two with Charles before he stopped taking his calls.

The Duke said he is prioritising the relationship with his father who is now taking his calls.

Meghan said that reports she had made the Duchess of Cambridge cry were untrue and that it was, in fact, Kate who reduced her to tears.

She claimed Kate apologised with flowers and a note, but that it was not a “confrontation” and it would be unfair to go into detail.

Oprah with Meghan and Harry will be aired at 9pm on Monday, March 8 at 9pm.

If you or someone you know needs help, Samaritans operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year, by calling 116 123. Or, if you prefer to write down how you’re feeling, or if you’re worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at

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