Do you really want Independence for Scotland? I’ve mulled the idea over for years now, and I’m now coming to the conclusion, “No, not really.”
It’s no great surprise that Alex Salmond chose St Andrew’s day to make his latest pitch for a referendum. Say what you like about Wee Eck, he knows how to harness the public mood, hitch a ride on the latest bandwagon and get his coupon on the TV and in the papers. But the trouble is the SNP, in office or opposition, often looks like a One Man Show.
Let’s be honest, Scottish politics isn’t exactly blessed with hundreds of youthful politicians brimming with ideas, engaging with the public and coming up with policies for a brighter tomorrow. The ones that are any good usually have their heads turned by the bright lights of London and would be quite happy being an under parliamentary aide to the junior minister for fish on bicycles if it meant they could have a billet in Westminster. That’s where the action is for these young guns, you see.
It’s not a problem for the SNP alone. While Salmond and Nicola Sturgeon can put up a good show in Holyrood, they aren’t exactly facing a terrifying challenge from the opposite benches – which in the interests of consensus politics are in a horseshoe shape. Come on, guys, we really want to see politicians verbally ripping each to shreds, not standing up to say: “No, go on, you have the last custard cream...I insist.”
Let’s take Labour, led by the aptly named Iain Gray. Filleted so often by Salmond at First Minister’s Questions that the two of them should open a fishmongers.
Meanwhile, the Tories – yes they do still exist in Scotland – have the redoubtable Annabel Goldie as their figurehead. Don’t know about you but I always imagine as the ladies’ captain of a bowling club. A nice bowling club, mind you, none of your riff-raff, and yes I will have another wee whisky and soda.
Then we come to the Lib Dems. Try as I might, I can’t quite put my finger on who their leader is. Tall ginger bloke I think, and even Google keeps asking if I mean Travis M Scott, director of environmental studies at the University of Kalamazoo. I suppose that’s what you get for giving up the ministerial cars.
We had some interest when Tommy Sheridan was in Holyrood. A proper firebrand, a radical in the mould of John MacLean, a man of the people who did time for his beliefs. But then the brothers and the sisters turned on Tommy, hoping that they could steal a bit of his thunder and chisel out a wee piece of fame for themselves. Political crimes of the decade that one.
If Independence does happen, I’ve got a feeling that Scotland will be left with a “rump” Parliament, populated by wannabes who see it as a stepping stone to quango heaven, or never weres who couldn’t hack it in real life.
So vote carefully – or better still, put yourself forward if you think you can do better. Could you really be any worse?
David Coyle is a finalist in stv.tv's The Write Factor competition. The views expressed are not necessarily those of STV plc. If you would like to read more from this writer, use our comment system below.
Last updated: 30 November 2009, 16:07
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